Every week I’m hosting a LIVE stream at Let Me Challenge You for Good Facebook Group. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve talked to people who shared their stories, knowledge and experience. This week I had a rather interesting guest, the one who was somewhere around during every LIVE stream all this time – my husband Grischa.
We’ve asked you to write down all the questions that you’ve had, and one was the most popular among others – how do we nurture our relationship among everything that is happening: two careers, constant changes of our environment and so on.
While we’ve talked about some of it in the LIVE stream (which is available for a replay at the group), I decided to share four simple, but not always easy, ways that can help you can maintain and grow your relationship this year.
Talk and manage expectations. We’ve already discussed with you in previous blog posts how important it is to be clear in our communication with others. Let me remind you that just because your partner knows you well, doesn’t mean they should be able to read your mind. Anyway, would you want them to? Be careful what you wish for!
It’s crucial to discuss what you have in mind and never expect others to guess. In my opinion, it’s even better to overcommunicate, then under-communicate or not be clear enough.
Take breaks from each other. We sometimes feel that if the room has people it in, then we ought to communicate with them all the time. Leave this toxic idea behind the door – it’s OK to be silent with your partner when you are doing something in the same room. This is especially relevant in the midst of the pandemic when many of us are working from home sharing space with our partners. You are not obligated to entertain or interview your loved one. Moreover, it’s great to be mentally and physically separated for some time. To practicestaying true to yourself, try to find hobbies just for you – this way you can keep reconnecting to your own thoughts and inner joy.
Stay true to yourself. Do you remember the PYMF principle we’ve talked a couple of times in previous posts? Put your oxygen mask on first. This applies to the relationship as well – no matter how much you are in love with another person, be more in love with yourself. Take time to explore yourself, your values, hopes, dreams and ideas. If you find yourself in the situation when a relationship takes over those things, it’s important to intervene timely. And yes, in the worst-case scenario it can lead to getting out of that relationship. Make sure you know what you like, not what your partner wants you to like, so you don’t blend into another person and lose your personality and your life.
Keep your perspective. During our LIVE stream, Grischa talked about being thoughtful towards other people. As an example, he shared a situation that can happen to anybody. Imagine you live with roommates and someone didn’t wash their dishes. It’s easy for us to pay attention to it and be irritated, but in reality, we don’t know what is truly going on in their life. It’s important to remember that nobody is perfect and we need to pay attention to the positive side of things. The same goes for your partner – remember that it’s your choice to be with this person. If you are not happy with your choice – you are in control of changing the situation.
I hope these tips can help you to be more mindful in your current or potential relationship. And if you want to listen to the full version of the LIVE stream with Grischa, you are most welcome to the FB group.
With all my love and care,