In the self-development industry a lot of times we hear the word “fearless” or “fearlessness” thrown around. We tend to believe that it is the correct way to be – without any fear. But it is true?
This week I sat down with Carmen to discuss this topic. Carmen Ventrucci is the CEO of True SISU Life, known as the International Business Ignitor. She knows you have the POWER to design the life you love. As a Business Ignitor, her Mindset Mastery and Action-Taking Tactics help you achieve professional, personal, and financial success to live your passion.
Carmen shared her idea of looking at fear as a normal reaction that we as humans experience. Fear is extremely valuable feedback of our body and mind. From the evolutionary point of view, fear was an indicator of our survival instincts and it helped us to prioritise our health and well-being (aka survival) over anything else.
We need to remember, that none of us is fearless. I’m not fearless. You are not fearless. It is ok to feel fear. Even more, fear is a great tool to help you get deeper into your thoughts and analyse situations that provoke the feeling itself.
During our LIVE stream with Carmen, she described the seven flavours of fear that we can experience in our day-to-day life.
Flavour 1. Fear of failure and success.
As two sides of the same coin, fear of failure and success often come together. To understand where this fear comes from, firstly you need to understand how do you define failure and success. Failure is a sign of trying and progress. Your failure just might be you learning something.
When you are feeling any of the following fears, you need to ask yourself a What-If question. Be cautious! You might be already using this technique to ask yourself the question but in a negative connotation. To face your fears and conquer them we should rather ask:
What if failure is nothing to be afraid of because it happens to everybody?
What if every time I make a mistake I gain valuable information to make myself, my product or my skills better?
What if completely failing on something was merely a result of me slowing down, missing some things or course-correcting and I can change it next time?
As for the fear of success, it mostly comes down to a fear of losing people that you care about or fear of haters. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
What if my success shows me the truth about people I call friends?
What if my success models for my family or friends that I can be a great mom/friend/daughter AND be successful in what I do?
Flavour 2. Fear of rejection
Some of us are ok to fear the word “no”, but for others, it’s a challenge to get rejected. Remember, it’s inevitable and it will happen to anyone along the way. What we think to be a closing door, can be an invitation to discussion. Whenever you feel this feeling, ask these questions:
What if “no” is a point to starting a conversation that helps you to understand yourself, your clients and product even deeper?
What if “no” is help from the universe that saves you from that headache client, person, etc.?
Flavour 3. Fear of being a fraud
Here comes an imposter syndrome, that feeling that you are not an expert enough to do whatever you do in life and people will notice it. A lot of times it comes from perfectionism, the negative one. It paralyses you from doing anything, causes you to allow yourself not even to try, as you think ahead you won’t be able to accomplish it. Here is how you can What-If your way out of fear of being a fraud:
What if being an expert doesn’t mean you need to know everything?
What if getting it dumb is better than making it perfect?
There are four more flavours to discuss that you can learn about in the next, additional blog post! Stay tuned!
With all my love and care,