Do you ever feel like you have some strong emotions but you have no time or energy for them? Say, something tragic happens in your life, and it’s about to kick you out off balance, but you think “I don’t have time for that now! I already have too much going on”. And you suppress those feelings thinking that ignoring them will bore them out and they will leave. Well, sorry my friend, but they won’t. More than that, they will keep growing and show up in different, often uglier, forms messing up your life and wellbeing.
You know that saying – the only way out with negative emotions is the way through them. And that doesn’t mean you have to dive endlessly in sorrow, fear or whatever emotion is there. You need to let yourself feel your feelings, in a structured way. It is very helpful to label things, be it through journaling or talking to a friend, a coach or a therapist. It’s easier for our mind to process things if it’s clearer what’s there to process. And labelling your feelings, you create a way for them to get out and for yourself — to get through them.
I suggest you set a timer for yourself to feel that negative feeling that is bothering you. And once that timer is up – spin the hell out of there. Some of my clients say that it’s hard to get out of there once they have started going into the darker space. I recommend three things to avoid that:
1. Set an intention to let yourself feel what you feel but not get stuck there. It might sound obvious, stupid or woo-woo, but gals, your brain is listening to your talking and takes it in. If you say to yourself “I will never get out of that dark hole if I jump in there now”, your brain hears that and takes it in as a fact, trying to fulfil that thought! So set a healthier intention and let your brain help you spinning out on time.
2. I suggest physical activities help you spin out. Switch on your fav song and throw a crazy dance party. Go for a jog. Or do a shaking meditation like this one, for example, to shake off that negative feeling.
3. Don’t stay alone with your feeling for too long! If you sense that it starts taking over your mind, your life, ask for help! It could be enough with a talk with your spouse, friend or a family member. Or maybe you have been suppressing your feelings for so long that your wounds got too deep and you need professional help from a therapist. Maybe you are somewhere in between – a friendly conversation is not enough, but you don’t think you need a therapist. That is why many of my coachees come to me. Having a compassionate but non-involved person willing to listen to you, hear you, create space for you to heal is one of the best self-care practices you can give to yourself.
Feeling your feelings is essential to be able to heal your wounds and let yourself grow positively, without being brought down by unprocessed stuff all the time. How is this process working for you? I will be happy to hear about your thoughts, reflections and experiences. And if you need my support, do not hesitate to book a discovery call to discuss my 1:1 coaching.
PS: it’s my Birthday today, and if you would like to greet me, I would be happy your support on my donation campaign. You can find more details here.
With all my love and care,