The current crisis made us stay home, pulling the rug from under the feet for many people. Many of us are now asking ourselves who we are – now that our job is not necessarily there in a month/ we cannot travel/ hang out with friends/ fill in the blank.

Are you in this group?

Do you suddenly feel void or lost when those external parts of your life have to be put on hold?

Is it uncomfortable to be in the company of “me, myself and I”?

Photo by Pixabay

We have been living in crazy times this last decade. The pace of life was just speeding up, opportunities grew exponentially, and so did our expectations. Many of us have been all over the place – work, hobbies, exploring the world, keeping our relationships meaningful, jada jada jada. We were dreaming of slowing down, yet now, with a forced slowdown, many people find it very uncomfortable.

We have been keeping ourselves busy because it has been easy to do so. But have we been missing on anything meanwhile?

Observing people around me in the time of a lockdown, I have noticed that some people have seen an opportunity in the isolation, for some it created a lot of stress due to real challenges in real-time (full house with lots of agendas to juggle, uncertainty with work and alike), and some people have come to an inner crisis questioning their lives and being. 

While some people are focusing on how to keep their nose over the water surface with all the struggles of surviving homeschooling and such, what is going on with the others of us who suddenly got more free time now – not less?

What differentiates those people who are seeing this time alone as a gift (even though the price for humanity is terrible, no doubt) from the ones seeing it as a curse? With every day I am more confident that the reason lies in their self-esteem.

I feel like we have been recently focusing too much on doing, forgetting about being. We have been training our self-confidence (a strong belief in one’s ability to achieve), ignoring the self-esteem (an awareness of the value of one’s own character). Strong self-confidence helps us reach new heights in our lives and dare to follow our ambitions. But if the self-esteem is low, we start feeling lost and void as soon as the “doing” mode is off – for who are we without all our deeds?

A turning point in my self-development journey and building up my self-esteem has been a vipassana – a ten-day silence retreat I have done in Thailand in 2017. For one and a half weeks I, among more than a hundred of others, have stayed silent, meditated for over 10 hours per day – to better connect to the being part of myself. 

I am a high achiever in my mind and spirit, always setting goals and chasing them, striving to jump over my own head. Getting into an environment where I didn’t decide what to eat, when to get up and how to spend my days, I have definitely stepped way out of my comfort zone. In those hours of meditations and the time in between, my monkey mind kept jumping around – to avoid the uncomfortable questions. 

The current crisis made us stay home, pulling the rug from under the feet for many people. Many of us are now asking ourselves who we are – now that our job is not necessarily there in a month/ we cannot travel/ hang out with friends/ fill in the blank.

Are you in this group?

Do you suddenly feel void or lost when those external parts of your life have to be put on hold?

Is it uncomfortable to be in the company of “me, myself and I”?

Who am I? 

What is my purpose? 

Am I really doing what I want to do with my life? 

How do I actually feel? 

And the more I stayed in silence, living like in a slow-motion movie where mindfulness is a key, the more OK I was feeling with those questions, and with not knowing the answers at an instance. 

It took a while to get clearer with the answers about myself as a human being. And I won’t say it was always easy, straightforward or fun. But gosh, do I see that work’s payoff in this crisis! 

Now I know that no matter what the world will look like on the other side of the crisis – I will strive to stay a present, caring, empathetic, beautiful human being who always leads by own example, and is ready to help others on their journey.

Now I know that even in hard times (and especially then) it is essential to take care of myself – because when I don’t, I tend to take worse care of others.

I have resigned from my corporate job last week. Meaning I am fully stepping into the world of the entrepreneurial unknown. As if the world wasn’t unstable enough right now… 

But I know that I will be all right – because even if I fail with my self-employment, I am still who I am. I might be making the wrong choices now – but they come from the self-love and care of others. And that means that an occasional failure will be a learning experience, and that success will mean a sense of fulfillment and purpose.  My healthy level of self-esteem brings me great peace of mind in these turbulent times – enough to dare taking crazy steps like leaving a job.

As Swedish personal coach Mia Törnblom puts it, “sometimes we can DO wrong, but we can never BE wrong”. I know now that I am not wrong – no matter what I do. 

Knowing all this helps me fill times of crisis or difficulties with a meaning.

Healthy self-esteem makes it possible to keep myself focused on who I want to be, and align my deeds accordingly. 

Failure is not scary anymore – because it is a learning experience on my journey.

Silence is not frightening – because it is a chance to listen inwards and hear how I am feeling. 

Being alone and doing nothing, rushing nowhere is a blessing – because it is an essential part of staying aligned with who I want to be, and doing so sustainably.

I hope my sharing this journey to better self-esteem inspires you to start your own journey! You don’t have to travel far for a vipassana. This is the journey inside of yourself, and you don’t even have to change your external environment.       

But how do you explore this? 

I decided to model this vital experience and share it with you… My goal is to create a step-by-step program to help you create this meaningful relationship with yourself, healthy and balanced self-esteem. 

So, stay tuned and we’ll set off soon 🙂

With all my love and care,

Let me challenge you for good
Tags
No Tag

No responses yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *